Disgruntled Young Penguin: A Satire on AKP by AKP

PM Erdogan and Colleagues

Their Burst-outs & Their Random OCD Reactions to Navigate the Society

PM Erdogan and his colleagues have had their moments on both Turkish social media and national news. This is a chronological compilation of some of these press releases; sometimes on purpose of keeping the nation busy with trivial matters, sometimes simply brain dysfunctions including political lies, disinformation, and etc. These dysfunctions of mind are actually in a way of signalling AKP’s true form and intentions even though they are quite useful in order not to address the important issues. Most of the time, they end up being a practical joke in every serious discussion!

Nov. 4, 2013

“Female, male students living together against our character” PM Erdogan

This is actually said by a PM of a nation. Though when considered that he even got involved in a ‘park vs. shopping mall’ issue himself, this is no surprise for average Turk in Turkey. People can really understand his thinking algorithm; PM Erdogan is a control freak and a paranoiac. Hurriyet Daily News passes this news as “The Turkish prime minister reportedly instructs a governor to check whether male and female university students are sharing the same houses in Denizli due to the lack of space in the student dormitories. He denounces such cases as being against ‘our conservative, democratic character’”¹.

Oct. 22, 2013

PM Erdogan says “We would even demolish mosques if they were in the way of road”

This was a justification for rooted-out 3000 trees for the controversial road that is planned to pass through METU campus.²

Sep. 8, 2013

The Ban on ‘Studio Flats’

According to some certain social circles, studio flats are not compatible with Turkish family values. That certain social circle yet remains to be determined, Turkish ministry of environment and urban planning had decided to regulate the minimum areas for a standard housing. The result is studio flats are now illegal in Turkey.³

Aug. 14, 2013

“Pepper gas [OC] is completely natural and has no permanent effect on human health,” Interior Minister Şahin⁴

Probably, the interior minister is confused by the term ‘pepper’ and thought it is actually made of pepper, Organic Pepper Gas maybe?

Aug. 2, 2013

“Male and female students are using the same stairs” Tamer Kırbaç, Trabzon provincial director of national education complained.

“Female and male students live in dorms above another. They use the same stairs to go to rest.” No further comment neither will nor can be done on this press release.⁵

Jul. 25, 2013

Islamic Turkish thinker Ömer Tuğrul İnançer exhorts women to stay at home when pregnant⁶

İnançer had rattled these words on state television TRT1. Before that program he was nobody, his expressions such as “Announcing pregnancy with a flourish of trumpets is against our civility. [They] should not wander on the streets with such bellies. First of all, it is not aesthetic” had provoked a public outcry⁷. What is hideous is he was then called for a second program on TRT1 and covered for his actions by AKP officials.

Jun. 18, 2013

Mevlüt Yüksel published a fake interview with Senior CNN anchorwoman Christiane Amanpour in Takvim Newspaper

It was all arranged to look like a genuine article, but the newspaper put a tiny note at the end of the webpage story admitting it was not a real interview and that they were doing this to “get back at” CNN's “lies” during the recent Gezi Park protests.⁸

Jun. 15, 2013

Erdogan's chief adviser knows what's behind Turkey's protests – TELEKINESIS

“It [Gezi Protest] was all a giant telekinetic attack by dark forces to discredit Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, because he had made Turkey a "model for the world"” said Yiğit Bulut, Erdogan's chief adviser (before joining Erdogan’s ranks, he was a journalist who had been associating Erdogan’s policies to Adolf Hitler’s⁹). This news even made to the global news¹⁰.

Jun. 9, 2013

PM Erdogan: Protesters Entered Mosque with Shoes On

Yes, this happened too. The PM had accused the protestors who were worrying for their life, who thought they were escaping from a murderous police force and who sought refuge in a mosque¹¹. People running from the heavy smoke did not have the chance to take their shoes off, especially the unconscious ones. The aforementioned mosque was used as a makeshift medical centre during the protests.

Jun. 2, 2013

PM Erdogan: When I visit my office in Dolmabahçe Palace, I see the state of people coming from Kadıköy. This is not something that coincides with my values, I do not dictate them what to wear but I tolerate. ¹²

May 23, 2013

Turkey Bans Retail Alcohol Sales at Night, Promotion of Drinking

Erdogan banned alcoholic beverages at municipally run restaurants when he was Istanbul’s mayor in the 1990s. The new law is the toughest nationwide curb on alcohol introduced since his Islamist-rooted Justice and Development Party came to power more than a decade ago. The premier said a month before that ayran, a salted yogurt drink, was predominantly Muslim Turkey’s national beverage, rather than anything alcoholic¹³.

May 3, 2013

Deputy Prime Minister Bulent Arinc has objected to the number of drinking scenes in popular soap operas. And added; banning may be an option¹⁴.

Jan. 3, 2013

Turkish PM Erdoğan reiterates his call for three children

“One or two children mean bankruptcy. Three children mean we are not improving but not receding either. So, I repeat, at least three children are necessary in each family, because our population risks aging” said PM Erdogan in a summit held by his party’s women’s branch¹⁵.

Disgruntled Young Penguin

Monday 4 November 2013

A Satire on AKP by AKP

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